Even now, we plot against the freakish one.
Please excuse any evil laughter you hear in the background. That's just me, playing with my new Relena voodoo doll. |
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Maybe we want to be violent...
Dorothy smiled. She had been waiting for this day since she had met the dishwater-blonde princess of the Sank Kingdom.
There was a mistake in the name, she thought to herself. There was supposed to be another "k."
She waited for Relena to arrive in her room. She had sent her an invitation under the false pretenses of explaining a pacifist theory to her.
There was a knock on the door.
"Come in."
A face with blank, blue-green-grey eyes, and a large nose, framed by greasy, bread-colored hair with bowl-cut bangs that were much to short smiled. The word "Hello" was said through the large mouth, that twitched with every syllable spoken in that irritating voice. Dorothy ground her teeth.
Soon, it will be over, she thought.
She turned to face the ugly girl. She pulled a gun out from a desk drawer and pointed it at her.
"Dorothy!" Relena gasped. "Are... you going to... kill... me?"
"What did you think I was going to do, Miss Relena? I am not as kind as the boy called 'Heero Yuy'"
"But.. why?"
"Miss Relena, it is human nature to cause pain and misery, but not in such great numbers as you have. People enjoy bloodshed and tears. We all want to kill each other, even though we won't admit it.
You, Miss Relena, have caused more misery than anyone else. You fill peoples' minds with ludicrous notions of pacifism. You have made them drop their defenses and let themselves be slaughtered! To attain peace, we need more pain! For this, Miss Relena, you must pay!"
"HEEEERRRRROOOOOO!!!!!!" were Relena's last words as the bullet sped towards her.
Blood splattered on the clear glass windows, and spread out upon the floor.
"A pity," Dorothy said, brushing some hair out of her face. "It will be such a pain to clean up."
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All in a Day
"Oniichan! Oniichan! Wake up!" yelled a little girl.
"No. Go away, onna," an annoyed Wufei responded.
"No! Wake up, now!" she yelled, as she pulled the sheets and blankets off of his bed.
"ONNA!" he yelled, sitting up, wide awake.
"You know better than to ignore me."
He glared at her.
"Get dressed, Oniichan."
"No. Go away. I need sleep."
"Up, or you don't get breakfast!"
He glared at her some more.
"Hai, Roxy."
"Good," she said smiling, and then she ran out of his room.
Grudgingly and mumbling, he got dressed. Yawning, he left his room and walked downstairs. The smell of food cooking was drifting out from the kitchen.
"Smells good. What's for breakfast, onna?"
"Miso soup, rice, and pickled vegetables."
"Typical of an onna. The only thing you're good at is housework."
"NANI?"
Roxy stepped out of the kitchen, weilding a frying pan.
"What did you say, Oniichan?"
"The only thing you're good at is housework."
"Typical of a man. The only things you can do are eat, sleep, and annoy me."
"Feh. Weakling."
The sound of metal hitting bone was heard. Wufei rubbed his head, a half-sulking look on his face.
"You deserved that."
He mumbled something about onnas being violent, and started on his breakfast. A girl slightly younger than him, with black hair and green eyes entered the room and sat down at the table.
"Ohayo, Oniichan, Roxy."
"Ohayo, Mana."
"Ohayo, onna."
Mana started eating. Roxy sat down next to her and did the same. Wufei finished his food, set his dishes down, and left the table.
"Put your dishes at the sink. Now."
Not wanting to get the frying pan again, he did what she said to. He walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. Wufei picked up the remote, and clicked the "power" button. After channel surfing very quickly, as most guys do, he came to the channel he wanted.
The opening theme song for Sailor Moon began to play, and he hummed along with it. Unknown to the other Gundam pilots, he had a bit of a crush on Sailor Mars. He had been waiting for this 7-hour marathon for weeks.
"Wai!" Roxy and Mana said, plopping down on the couch next to him.
"Shut up, onnas!" he yelled.
* * * * *
It was three in the afternoon when the Sailor Moon marathon ended. Wufei was tired, and his muscles were sore. He hopped off the couch and began to stretch.
"Onna, I'm hungry. Make me lunch."
"You can make it yourself."
"I don't know how to cook."
"Get over here and I'll teach you."
He growled under his breath, and stalked off to the kitchen.
"Well, what are you making for me?"
"What do you want for lunch?"
"Rice and a sandwich."
"Baka," Roxy mumbled under her breath.
He shot her a glare.
"To make rice, first, you take out a saucepan and the rice. Put some rice in the saucepan, and put a slightly larger amount of water in as well. Cover it, and put it on the stove. Leave it until it's done cooking."
Grudingly, he followed her instructions.
"What next?"
"What kind of sandwich do you want?"
He thought for a moment.
"Turkey and lettuce."
"First, you take out two slice of bread, then, you put some turkey and the lettuce on one slice. Finally, you put the other piece of bread on top."
"You make it sound so simple."
"It IS so simple, baka!"
He shot her another glare, and followed the directions she had given him. There was the sound of water boiling.
"The rice! Take it off the burner, you idiot!"
Quickly, he pulled the saucepan off the stove, and turned the heat off. He pulled the lid off.
"You're lucky it didn't boil over."
He dished the rice into a bowl, and put his sandwich on a plate, then stalked off to the table to eat. An exetremely hyper Roxy pranced around in the background, chanting:
"Oniichan can't cook! Oniichan can't cook!"
"Quiet, onna!"
* * * * *
Wufei sat down at the table, ready for dinner.
"Where's my dinner, onna?"
"It's almost ready!"
Roxy brought the meal to the table, and sat down. She dished food onto her plate, then Mana did the same, followed by Wufei.
* * * * *
It was late. Wufei crept towards the kitchen, hoping to get a midnight snack. He heard a slight stirring sound coming from the living room. Forgetting his snack, he entered the room.
Peeking over the couch, he saw Roxy asleep, a piece of paper on the floor just below where her hand hung over the edge. She shivered a little, and sneezed.
She looks almost innocent when she's asleep, he though to himself.
He reached over and pulled a blanket on her, then left to get his snack.
amadeus
Maxwell's Demon
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Relena is the cause of all evil.
Ah, poor Heero, every time he hears the "R" word he just about jumps outta his skin! See! Look! |
